Daily dose of street harassment

Daily dose of street harassment.

Transportasi saya pergi-pulang kerja itu sepeda, lengkap dengan helm, sarung tangan, knee pad.
Saya udah sering di catcall and I couldn’t just walk away. I always fought back.

So did I this evening at 5pm on my way to home.
Saya pulang lewatin perumahan elit, each house at least has 2 security personnels. Talking about this so called security.
Saya di cat call di depan salah satu rumah.
I was on my bike.
That one so-called ‘security guy’ was like: “pssstt”.

I was about to make a turn back and already noticed his eyes followed me. THAT f*cking exact moment I knew that he’s guilty.
Eyes went hollow dan pura2 bego.
Girllllll…lemme tell you I know what a coward getting busted looks like. That looked that he gave? A scared one. Didn’t think that a GIRL like me would turn the f*cking bike around to confront his weak ass.

I confronted them then.
Stared at them at least 20 seconds before I lost it.
Gue tanya: “Siapa yg tadi bilang “pssst”?”
Si bego: “Apaan? Ga ada”
Me: “Ada. Saya dengar sendiri.”
Si bego: “Apaan? Manggil temen ojek.”
That moment. That moment when he said that, he knew he already f*cked up because he couldn’t even get his facts straight.
Anyway lemme tell you, that street was only cars and orang2 bangunan (<—-pernah catcall saya juga. Well duh, ga usah dibilang juga udah ketahuan.)
I lost my sh*t saying: “LU MENTANG2 GUE PEREMPUAN LU LECEHIN GUA! GA USAH PURA2 BEGO! Gua tiap hari di jalanan bolak balik, gue tau mana laki yang bener mana yang nggak!”
The other one was DEFENDING the idiot by saying: “Udah mbak. Udah. Tadi ojek.”
Me: “Minta maaf! Udah ngelecehin, sekarang MINTA MAAF!”
The other one: “Nggak mbak. Pergi aja.”
Me: “F*CK YOU!”

The other one nyampering gue, udah siap mau nonjok stance nya tadi.
(I was ready with my baseball bat in my backpack, by the way. Well you guys can guess why I bring it along.)

Bilang: “Eh mbak ga usah kurang ngajar ngomong kayak gitu ga sopan.”
I was like: “WELL ngelecehin perempuan juga ga sopan. Lu ga usah berasa korban.”
Masih tu orang: “Ga usah macem2 ya sampean. Awas ya!!!”
Me: “Ohohohoh atutttt piece of shit.”
I went away. With his still cursing dan orang2 bangunan di seberang mentertawakan saya karena bagi mereka itu lucu.

Tapi nggak bagi saya.
Saya ada ketakutan, karena orang barbar seperti mereka bisa membunuh/memperkosa dll dengan masih menyalahkan korban.
Saya lewati jalan itu setiap hari.
Saya mungkin akan dibunuh atau di rape, I don’t know.
Itu ketakutan saya.
Saya pulang, saya curhat ke orang terdekat saya, but she doesn’t give a shit and shut me off.
Then I contacted Hollaback! via DM and received a validation and support.

As I’m typing this, I’m in my room, lying on the floor, thinking if one day I’ll be able to feel an intimacy with a man or not. A little offside from what I just talked about, but I’ve been shutting myself to men (I’m heterosexual btw), because I have these feelings of disgust towards men in a sexual way because of all these harassments and abuses.

At least I know that this community exists and LISTENS. And I thank you all for that.