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Halo, aku adalah seorang laki laki yang diperkosa mantan pacarku sendiri. Waktu itu kita pergi ke bandung karena memang ada field trip dari kampus. Namun setelah field trip selesai kita memutuskan untuk menginap dan berpisah dengan rombongan teman2 kampus. Kamipun menginap di sebuah hotel dekat dengan stasiun tempat kami akan naik kereta keesokan harinya. Aku sudah bilang ke dia aku cuma ingin tidur karena aku sudah sangat kecapean setelah selesai field trip. Saat aku sudah mulai memejamkan mata tiba tiba dia mulai ‘make a move’ dan ya aku masih biasa biasa aja dan aku bilang aku lagi gapengen karena capek. Diapun memaksa dan melayangkan berbagai alasan yang setelah aku pikir2 dia mencoba meng’guilt trip’ aku. she forced herself on top of me and proceed to do her ‘thing’. i was completely shocked that she’d ignore my wishes. i told her i’m not ready ( i’m a virgin until this point) and its not the right time yet, i told her that i was mentally exhausted today and i’m not ready to do it yet. but she keep going on without a care for my desperate plea and i was suddenly freezed, i cant move a muscle and let her do what she like. i beg and beg for her not to do it but the only answer i get is “its already in, nanggung”. i cried myself to sleep that day and i still cried about it until now. i had mental breakdown everytime i’m going out. i feel so worthless, weak, helpless, depressed, anything you named it. and nobody will ever believe my story just because i’m a man, the answer that i’ll ever get when i tell this story will probably “you must be enjoying it”, “if i were you i’d count myself lucky” or “you’re a man right why cant you defend yourself” yeah its probably that and so many more. will i ever recover from the pain and trauma that it caused me? because i dont see myself smiling happily in the future. my dark days is here to stay.

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